DWTS: Race for the Mirror Ball

Welcome to the official Dancing With the Stars thread. With the constant pandering of the new team of judges to the lousy crop of contestants this year I simply can't stand to watch American Idol any more. Dancing With the Stars however continues to deliver with train wreck moments on the floor from semi-washed up stars followed inappropriate sexual innuendo and your occasional funny comment from the judges. And the show doesn't take itself all that seriously (most of the time).

I'll recap each of the dancers below.



Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas started off the night. I had no idea who Chelsea Kane was before the show but apparently she's another kid from the Disney entertainment combine. She's cute and her dancing was OK, if a bit stiff. Not terrible, just boring and sevens from the judges seemed about right at the time but a little high in retrospect.

Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani were up next. For some reason I always feel like Williams may be a male to female transexual, but apparently she has birthed some babies so what do I know. Her talk show bluster faded in the face of her obvious lack of coordination. On the floor she looked like a deer in the headlights but she made it through the dance without falling on her ass so I guess that's a moral victory. fours and a five from the judges gave her a total of 13.

Hines Ward and Kym Johnson were the 3rd couple on the floor. Hines was pretty good and showed some pizazz. He could be good with a bit more polish and follow in the footsteps of former DWTS champion and football Hall of Fame running back Emmett Smith. Definitely a challenger for the Mirror Ball going forward. 3 sevens for a total of 21.

Supermodel Petra Nemcova and her partner, former So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD) contestant Dmitry Chaplin hit the floor next. Nemcova was made famous by surviving the typhoon which hit Thailand and South East Asia a few years back and her emotion relating to the Japanese tragedy was evident. Still, she was surprisingly graceful and may be amongst the early favorites as well. Her marks (sixes) from the judges seemed a bit low to me.

Master P's spawn Li'l Romeo and SYTYCD graduate Chelsie Hightower were the next team up. Romeo seemed embarrassed by the hip action he was being asked to display and he looked stiff and out of sorts on the dance floor. He obviously has the talent but he must get over his self-consciousness if he's to go far in the show. Sixes and a seven (from Carrie Anne who thought he looked sexy) were his final scores.

Boxing legend Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna Trebunskaya with a Fox Trot. Sugar Ray looked decent when out of hold, but when it came to closer dancing he couldn't do much. I think he'll be a middle-of-the-pack dancer for the duration of his stay on the show. He recieved two sixes and a five from the judges.

Playboy Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson and Louis Van Amstel were next with a surprisingly good cha cha cha. Van Amstel took her booty-shaking background and tamed it into a reasonable dance. Wilkinson might be a contender if she gets a bit more polish, but I think she'll probably be gone before that due to her background and personality. Sixes across the board from the Judges.

Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff were up next. The Karate Kid did his best to lower expectations by repeatedly pointing out that he's an "ancient" 49 years old. But he then turned it around and wowed the judges with his dancing and received high score of the night with eights from all three judges. I can't really comment as to the quality of the dancing as I was mesmerized throughout the performance by Macchio's horrible wig.

WWE wrestler Chris Jericho and two time champion Cheryl Burke were next with a mediocre Tango. Jericho was stiff and didn't bring much to the dance floor. Even his gimicky tearing the arms off of his leather shirt was mediocre. Surprisingly he got two sixes and a seven from the judges.

"Psycho" Mike Catherwood of "Loveline" and SYTYCD alum Lacey Schwimmer were up next and were terrible. Since Catherwood is one of the least known stars on the show and showed that he couldn't dance a lick I expect him to be the first gone. He received a five and two fours.

Kirstie Alley and her partner Maksin Chmerkovsky danced the Cha Cha Cha to finish up the show. She was surprisingly good and received the lame "Look who's dancing!" comment from one of the judges. She ended up one outside the the top spot with two eights and a seven.

Looking at the show as a whole, it was able to keep my attention in between baby duties and as such it beats out Idol for cheesy TV competition this year. Hope you all enjoy the synopsis.

Happy reality TV viewing!

~akaoni